The conversion copy behind a course creator’s $26K launch!

How recommendations for headlines, body copy, and testimonials optimized copy for conversions

 
 

Meet Carly

Carly Walton is the creator of Teach Music Online, a company that teaches music teachers how to pivot their studios online so that they can reach a global audience, bring in more income, and have complete freedom over where they live. 🎉

When Carly got in touch with me in September 2024, she was preparing for the January launch of her signature membership program, Teach Music Online (TMO), which includes a course and coaching to help music teachers pivot online. 

With the aim of making Carly's launch the best it could be, we worked on the signup page for her launch event, the 3 Day Studio Transformation Challenge, and the long-form sales page for her program, Teach Music Online. 

As a result of our work together on Carly's signup page and sales page, we achieved: 

  • [###] signups for the 3 Day Studio Transformation Challenge

  • 88 new music teachers enrolled in Teach Music Online

  • A $26K launch for Teach Music Online!

Let's dive into how we made all this happen!

 
 

The client’s needs

Before working with me, Carly had versions of her challenge signup page and TMO sales page she'd written herself. She wanted them optimized for conversions by a copywriting expert so that they were primed to capture leads and sales. 

Optimizing the signup page was especially important as it would go out via email to music teachers new to TMO via Carly's partners and affiliates. These music teachers would likely be cold so the page had to do the work of warming them up enough to sign up for the challenge.

When Carly was ready to work together, she knew she wanted: 

  • The signup page optimized to capture as many interested music teachers as possible from her partnerships and her own audience

  • The long-form sales page optimized to bring in students who would stay in the TMO membership long-term. (While TMO is a monthly membership that includes a course and coaching, Carly aims to have music teachers staying for years as part of a community that supports and celebrates each other! ♫❤️)

 
 

Our approach

Because Carly already had drafts of her signup page and sales page, I focused my work on optimizing the elements on the pages that would have the biggest impact on her conversions. 

However, before I touched any of the copy, I reviewed audience research Carly had done through surveys on fears and concerns about joining TMO. This was crucial so I could understand what the most common concerns were and make sure both pages spoke to them. 

Importantly, Carly and I also discussed by email what the most common triggers for music teachers pivoting online were. So before I even looked at her copy, I took the time to understand where her audience was coming from and what pushed them to turn to teaching online.

(To discover more about how sales triggers and buyer behavior can help you sell more, take a look at this blog post.)

With Carly's audience's perspective in mind, I optimized the most important elements on her signup page and long-form sales page. This included: 

  1. Rewriting headlines to speak to the ideal client's desires and to highlight the value of Carly's 3 Day Challenge and TMO program

  2. Making sure the body copy on both pages followed the Problem-Agitation-Solution framework, a way of organizing ideas on a page proven to convert since the Mad Men days of advertising

  3. Making recommendations for testimonial selection and placement so that each testimonial was used strategically

Let's break down how each deliverable optimized Carly's pages for conversions!

 
 

1) Headline recommendations

David Ogilvy, the “Father of advertising,” is famously quoted to say that “five times as many people read the headline as the body copy. When you have written your headline, you have spent eighty cents out of your dollar.”

There's no question about it, headlines are important—and the most important headline is the one above the fold, or the H1. This is the first headline readers see when they land on your page.

Given how important the H1 is for hooking your readers into your page, Carly and I worked on both H1's for her signup page and sales page. 

Here's the result of our work for her signup page:

This above-the-fold section features the challenge name in the eyebrow copy (the part above the H1) so that anyone who lands there expecting to be on the signup page knows right away they're in the right place. In copywriting-speak, the eyebrow copy message matches reader expectations. 

When it comes to the H1, I recommended a desire-led headline, “Make 2025 your best year yet!” because Carly's challenge took place in January and follows the beginning-of-the-year theme of getting set up for a great year. 

However—and this is a mistake I see a lot—a headline like “Make 2025 your best year yet!” is vague when it's alone. That's why it's so important to give your headlines more context in the subhead (the copy below the H1). In Carly's case, the subhead speaks to specific desires of her music teachers (enrolling more students, engaging them, and increasing revenue), so that they understand the value of the challenge and what insights they receive by signing up.

When it came to Carly's TMO sales page, I recommended a value prop-led headline: 

Value prop headlines like this one (“Create a successful online music studio without the guesswork”) are simple but powerful because they tell you the desired value you get from the program… along with the undesired pain point that you avoid by signing up.

(Btw, you can swipe the formula for this headline to use yourself—it's "Get [desired result] without [undesired pain point]." :)

While this value prop headline is strong on its own, the subhead still gives it more context by highlighting the benefits of Carly's program. It reassures music teachers that they'll get a proven roadmap for pivoting online along with the benefit being able to work from anywhere with a global audience. 

As a final touch, the button copy reminds readers again of the main benefit to TMO, which is pivoting online. So it isn't just the formulaic "Join here"--the button copy clearly spells out the reason ideal clients want to join. 

This is important because not optimizing button copy is another common mistake I see. The button is what gets you the conversion and button copy is often a missed opportunity to remind your reader why they want to click on that button. Give them a reason they can't resist!

If you'd like to read more about how I write headlines, check out this blog post here.

 
 

2) Body copy recommendations

For both Carly's challenge sign up page and TMO sales page, I recommended the copywriting framework Problem-Agitation-Solution (PAS) for the body copy. PAS is a handy little framework proven to convert since the Mad Men days of advertising. 

PAS works because it leads with the ideal audience's pain points, a strategy that's more likely to convert than leading with desires. (In general, pain sells more than desires. Think of it like this: if your kid scraps his knee, you're going to buy a band-aid. Whereas everyone wants to go to the gym every day…but few people do.)

Note that when I'm talking about leading with pain points, I don't mean one of those long lists of pain points that you see on some pages. I also don't mean I'm twisting the knife. 

What I'm referring to is leading with up to three of your audience's pain points—those little things that already exist in their lives that niggle at them. We put them on the page to remind them that yes, they are experiencing discomfort and that no, it won't go away if they don't do anything. 

Then we agitate the pain to make come alive, just a little bit. Again, this is not a long list of pain points and it's not twisting the knife. It's just making your audience feel their pain. Just a little bit. (I cannot emphasize this enough.) Just enough so that they think, "Oh yes, they're talking to me and I'm on the right page because I'm interested in the solution to this pain I already feel in my life." 

By leading with Carly's audience's pain and agitating it ever-so-slightly, we set up her pages to present her challenge and program as the natural solution to her audience's pain.

 
 

3) Testimonial recommendations

The third element of conversion copy that I optimized on Carly's challenge signup page and sales page was the testimonials. 

Though Carly had a wide range of testimonials from happy music teachers over the years, they weren't all message matched. Meaning that the selection and placement of certain testimonials didn't clearly match a claim that the copy just made. This is a very common mistake because many people (including copywriters!) just slap testimonials onto the page. 

While having testimonials is never a bad thing, copy is more persuasive if testimonials message match. Meaning: if you claim your offer helps someone increase their revenue, you'd ideally have a testimonial from a client that backs up your claim right after, such as “So-and-so's program helped me increase my revenue by 20%!”

Or: if a part of your value is that you're a trustworthy business, you'd want a testimonial that reflects that. For example, “So-and-so is reliable to work with. She shows up on time and prepared, and answers questions promptly and thoroughly.”

You get the idea about message matching testimonials!

To make Carly's signup page and sales page optimized for conversions, we went through and made sure all testimonials message matched the copy they supported and clearly showed how Teach Music Online followed through on its promises of helping music teachers reach a wider audience and increase their income online. 🙌

 
 

Our awesome results!

By the end of our work together, Carly had a signup page and sales page with headlines, body copy, and social proof optimized for conversion that she could feel 1000% confident sending traffic to.

Her fantastic results include:

  • [###] signups for the 3 Day Studio Transformation Challenge

  • 88 new music teachers enrolled in Teach Music Online

  • A $26K launch for Teach Music Online!

 

Get copy done for you faster than you could do it yourself!

 

I love that Mimi rethinks things with me and she comes up with the best taglines so easily. Well, not easy for her, but much faster than I could do it myself!

I’ve been writing emails and working on my website for years, and it is so nice to have someone with more experience than me come in and look at my emails and website copy, and find ways to tweak them so that they're easier to digest.

Mimi thinks about texture, she thinks about words and what they convey, and she just is very thoughtful in her approach to copy. And for that reason, I will I know who to go with my emails and my website!

—Carly Walton, creator of Teach Music Online

 

Want copy that converts for yourself?

 

The TMO landing page and sales page are assets Carly invested in once that she can use over and over every time she launches her program. If your assets pay for themselves in one launch, imagine how much the ROI increases as you reuse them.

If you’re launching and you’d like your copy optimized for conversions, the easiest ways for us to get started are through my Small Start, Big Win™ Copy Polish and Email Polish.

For all other services, check out my services page here.

Questions? Want to hop on a call?